Networking Without Expectation

I have a confession to make. I hate the word “networking.” It conjures up images of fake smiles and unrealistic expectations. The word I like to use instead is “conversation.” Networking is a conversation without expectation. If you go into situations with this mindset, the conversation will be more genuine because you are in a place of curiosity and not one of “get me a job.”
 
A lot of people struggle with this concept of no expectations and often ask, “why network?” Because the natural by-product of genuine conversations are job leads, industry knowledge, and contacts. Networking is also something we do to help us make decisions.
 
Think about it this way. We all network. Every. Single. Day. We ask questions to get advice and information to help make decisions or connections. An example I like to use is when I moved to Syracuse. I knew nothing about the city. I didn’t know about the best grocery store on the planet—Wegman’s—until I asked where to shop. I needed a dentist, doctor and, more importantly, advice on how to get through a Central New York winter (answer: good snow tires and vitamin D). By talking to people, something amazing happened. I made friends: some personal and others professional.
 
Conversations are designed to give you valuable information or give insight you haven’t thought about in your search. They create lasting professional relationships that will help you do your job or advance your career down the road. Here are three steps to make a conversation more genuine which, in turn, will create a stronger connection.
 
Curiosity – Do your homework. What are you curious to know about this person? Is it their job? The company? The industry? Being curious will help you develop questions to engage this person in a conversation that holds value to you. If you are asking the same question to all of your contacts, then that isn’t being curious.
 
Mindfulness – Here it is important to remember that it isn’t all about you. Be mindful of how contacts can help you. Be mindful of other people’s time. Give people time to respond. If you reach out to a contact, give them two weeks to respond. Be mindful that they are busy. Things happen on the other side of the keyboard that take priority. It isn’t personal. Reach back out with a quick email to check back in.
 
Intentional – This is having focus. Being intentional is to be deliberate and conscious of what you want to say. What do you want to do? How does this align with the contact you are talking to? When finding connections, you want to have the focus. Successful networking conversations are the best when you are being intentional of your message and who you are.
 
Hopefully this helps you think of networking in a different way, which will allow you to have more meaningful conversations.